Looking in all the wrong places!

On April 4, 2023 By phyllistalbotIn Be Happy, Believe, Decisions, Hope, Laughter, Live Life, UncategorizedLeave a comment

One of my favorite stories has several different meanings. “One day a man was drowning in a flood. A little boat came by and said ‘Do you need any help?’ He said ‘No thank you, God will save me’. Then a bigger boat came by and said ‘Do you need any help?’ And he said, ‘No thank you, God will save me’. Then a helicopter came by and yelled down and said ‘Can we pull you up?’ And he said, ‘No thank you, God will save me’. Then the man drowned and went to heaven. The man asked God, ‘why didn’t you save me?’ And God said ‘I sent you two boats and a helicopter, you dummy.’”

The moral of this story is that opportunity knocks at your door maybe once or twice – that’s all – and you should be in a position to identify it and grab hold of it. The same concept I believe applies for happiness … do we really know what it looks like? Sometimes it is right there under our nose!

I don’t think I have ever met a person who wasn’t looking for happiness! The sad part is that they have happiness but fail to realize it. People are so busy pursuing what they think will result in happiness and aren’t able to enjoy what they already have. During the past few weeks I have encountered several friends who expressed how unhappy they were. This really disturbed me because in each case I could see so many ways that they were blessed! Why is it so hard to see our treasures that lie in front of us?

If the question was asked: “what would give you happiness?” I wonder how many of you would answer with things you don’t already have … believing that happiness has to do with acquiring some material thing.

You know: After getting my college years behind me I will be so happy! Once I get that new job, then I’ll be happy. When we get that big house, our family will be so freakin’ happy! As soon as the new business takes off, then I’ll be happy! Vacation is coming up, I’m so happy! I love my new car, I’m very happy! I am happy with my life, but….”

News flash! Finding joy in material things does not create long-lasting happiness. It doesn’t bring happiness because you are depending on something other than yourself to be happy. Think about it! … What was the last thing that you purchased that made you really happy? Now think about how long that happiness lasted. That’s what I thought! In order to be truly happy we need to recognize just where happiness comes from. Another News Flash! It comes from within … from your own heart and soul. Happiness comes from experiences.

Happiness is not being in a constant state of bliss. You absolutely cannot be happy all the time – 24/7! Even the spiritual leader, Dalai Lama, said that he had days when he’d rather just stay in bed, or when negative emotions disrupt his normally calm mind. Every one of us has days with ups and downs, and days filled with good times and bad. But often, we feel that if we’re not happy all the time, then something must not be right … then we just give up trying to be happy. Happiness is not something that you can achieve just once and then you’re done … there is no magic threshold that we cross!

True story! As a personal experiment when I was working at the local college, I placed a sign on my office door asking folks to “take a smile.” I tore one of the “smiles” off for myself before putting it up. I let the sign stay up for 30 days to see what would happen! Interested in what happened? I found that no-one in my building wanted a smile! Countless folks walked by my door and never tore a single smile off! Pretty sad … huh!

You might ask: OK Phyllis … just where is this happiness that you say is right in front of me? Well … here are the top 5 things that bring me happiness.

My awesome family: No family is perfect … but my family is my source of lasting joy. I love to laugh with them, cry with them, love them, and I appreciate their support. Over the weekend during our church’s semi-annual General Conference, Elder M. Russell Ballard said something that touched my heart and brought me to tears immediately. He said “What matters most is what lasts longest.” He was reminding us to remember what matters most … Heavenly Father, our Savior and our FAMILY!

My many special friends: My true friends love me just the way I am and they do not make me feel like I’m competing with them or have to pretend to be something that I’m not.

My many blessings: It is hard for me to be unhappy when I count my blessings … and I have truly been blessed all my life with wonderful experiences and talents. This quote says it all: “If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?” — Unknown

My Faith: This is a really big one for me. In our world full of turmoil and chaos, my faith brings me more peace, purpose, and happiness than anything else. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who helps me set worthy priorities, helps me make decisions and gives me hope! I realize that not everyone has the same beliefs that I do, but I truly believe that religion in general helps people live more purposeful lives.

My Surroundings: My family jokes about how I notice everything that surrounds me. Walk or ride with me and you will find that I comment on just about everything I pass. “Look at that pretty red barn or Isn’t that picket fence neat.” I love seeing God’s beauty whether it’s the color of the sky, the beautiful trees and flowers, the green fields with the red barns, or the shapes of the clouds. One riding to Duke I recall commenting to Kimbo that it was interesting how clouds were in the horizon all around us but not a single cloud above us … clear blue sky! Kimbo replied, “Only you would notice!” As one of our church hymns goes … “There is beauty all around!” If you take the time to notice the beauty it will bless your life and lift your spirits.

Please do not try to gain happiness by looking in all the wrong places. Don’t seek happiness in possessions, jobs, or people around us. Happiness is a choice we make to focus on what we have in our life that pleases us and brings joy!

Just to prove my point I’ll end with this question to ponder… Suppose you had the opportunity to move into the home of your dreams. A home with everything you’ve ever dreamed of having. A great view, perfect layout, amazing furniture, pool, the works… Are you picturing it? Good!

Now you have a decision to make. Would you rather live in that house by yourself for the rest of your life? Or would you rather live under a bridge in a tent with your family all around you? I definitely know what I would choose!

When we stop chasing the world’s definition of happiness, we begin to recognize the decision to experience happiness has been right in front of us and around us all along. Please read that sentence again!

Yep! True happiness doesn’t come from material things. I rest my case! So together let’s make the rest of our life the best of our life!

Just saying.

Fear Not!

On February 19, 2023February 20, 2023 By phyllistalbotIn Believe, Hope, Live Life, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It’s been a while since I posted to my blog site. It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about it … but sometimes it’s just so easy to post thoughts on Facebook. I promise to do a better job. So let’s talk about promises! I hope this post doesn’t come across as “too preachy.”

One of my favorite quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt is “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Her husband, President Franklin Roosevelt also made a great statement about fear: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” If there is one thing that I have learned during the past few years is that life is way too short to let fear keep you from being strong and doing hard things.

I have been pondering the scripture from Isaiah 43:1. Part of the verse reads: “… Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” The very first episode of the series “The Chosen” includes this scripture. I recently re-watched this episode, which is why the subject has been on my mind.

This is one of my favorite paintings by the artist Yongsung Kim titled “The Hand of God.” He painted it with hopes that the viewer would not see Christ reaching for Peter’s hand. He hoped to have us see the painting as Christ reaching for our hand. In our darkest moments, we can reach for our Heavenly Father or His Son the Christ and they will pull us back on top of the water.

Let’s face it … we will all experience trials. But remember that we have God’s promises. He says to “Fear Not.” You are His daughter (or son). He knows us. It’s encouraging to know that Heavenly Father will be with us during our hard times and our disappointments as well as the good times.

Did you know that in the Bible, God commands us to “Fear Not” over fifty times? So He must mean it! When we take our eyes off the Lord, we begin to fear … we forget that He is our security.

I once heard an analogy of this scripture, to that of a sandwich. The upper and lower pieces of bread are Heavenly Father’s relationship to us … surrounded by His unconditional love. The middle layer represents His promises to us. This is the part that makes the sandwich so delicious. He keeps His promises as long as we keep our end of the deal!

Promises are a big part of our lives … especially in today’s world. While standing at my closet the other morning, looking for something to wear, a thought occurred to me. You ever notice how clothes rarely deliver on promises made about them? Think about all the promises we are made about them in advertisements, or how cute they look hanging in stores. The dress that promises to make you look as good as the model that’s modeling it. The pants that promise to make you look slimmer. The shoes that promise you can walk all day and never feel like you’ve walked a minute. The pajamas that promise to help you sleep like a baby and look awesome while doing it. Then you get it home, put it on… and eeeehhhkkk! Those promises quickly fade, and you’re left with…just clothes. And you soon find yourself peering into a closet full of clothes feeling like you have absolutely nothing to wear. Sound familiar?

And that just one small slice of the world we live in where many promises are rarely kept. We are constantly inundated with notions of dreams we should dream, possessions we should possess and lifestyles we should all live. All of which I have found that, even if realized, turn out to contain empty promises of happiness and fulfillment… unless, of course, Heavenly Father, His Son and the gospel are included, and proper priorities kept. Then we can expect that joy.

It’s interesting that Heavenly Father has never let me down on one single promise He has made. Not one! 2 Peter 3:9 has proven to be true many times in my life, particularly when I am going through trials or hard times. This scripture reads “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise…” So I have learned to transfer my trust from the things of this world to my loving Heavenly Father who made them all. And I tell ya, it has made a tremendous difference in my life.

In a BYU address Henry Eyring said: “You will develop your ability to invest your precious time well by gaining three beliefs. First, you must gain confidence that God keeps his promises. Second, you must gain God’s confidence that you will always keep the promises, not that you choose to make, but that he asks you to make. And third, you must help others gain confidence that God keeps his promises.”

Now having these three beliefs does not mean we will not face difficult troubling times, situations or hard paths. That’s not the promise. Heavenly Father has promised to be with us … to comfort us … to walk with us … to guide us … to teach us … IF we seek and let Him. I picture this as me lifting heavy weights called life. The bar bell is really heavy … but I have help on both ends. At one end of the bar bell is my Heavenly Father and at the other end is His Son … both helping me lift. Then He blesses us. Yes, if we look, there are always blessings mixed in with our trials … and peace and hope! So fear not!

I know this to be truth. I have had many things that were difficult and hard in my life. If it had not been for my firm belief in a loving Heavenly Father , and His love and guidance, I could never have made it through all the trials in my life. I have always known I could do hard things. I have always known that I was not alone … that I have help from above. I thank my mother for teaching me and guiding me from a young age. She was my example … she endured many trials and hard times in her own lifetime.

I felt it an important task for me is to share this knowledge. YOU too are stronger than you think and can rely on Heavenly Fathers promises. YOU can also do hard things. Please follow His words: “Fear Not.”

Just saying …

A New Normal

On October 27, 2022October 27, 2022 By phyllistalbotIn Be Happy, Believe, Decisions, Hope, Kindness, Live Life, Positivity, UncategorizedLeave a comment

For the past two weeks I have been taking care of either one or two sick kids. I’ve been asked numerous times if I got sick too. The big answer is a big yes… twice. Felt pretty bad some of those days. My thought process was they are sick and I am sick … so what the heck … we can be sick together. That comes from my new normal and Ken always saying “75% of the those working out in the world today do not feel well.”

I actually made a discovery this week. I have a new “normal.” My health is really not great … cancer side effects and lots of heart issues. I am never at 100% and feel somewhat bad every day. I get up early every day and get busy because it keeps me going. Kimbo fusses at me most days to find rest because she worries and worries and worries . But I do rest. I nap with my boys … and love their cuddles. They make anything feel good. Plus watching the boys is mostly sitting around rocking one or both. Did I say that Kimbo worries!

Ok … back to new normals and my discovery. I found that when I do get sick … which isn’t often … I dont feel any different than I do everyday. So I just “keep on keeping on” as a past friend used to tell me. I do believe if I ever stop, it might end everything… not in my plan. I also know that keeping yourself busy definitely fights off most types of depression or feeling sorry for yourself. You see, you don’t get old from age, you get old from inactivity, from not believing in something. I’m already old so I can’t risk inactivity. Nope … no couch, chips and tv for me!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that change comes to all of us … everyday. We also have to deal with sickness and other problems. Our attitude during that change either makes us happy or sad. Acceptance of change doesn’t mean giving up entirely on your former situation. I still have valuable memories, my skills and my relationships to carry forward, but the point is that I’m moving on to a wider life. I’m not giving up because I feel bad.

I always come back to my absolute favorite quote … it’s from Jeffrey Holland. You know it … I quote it all the time.

Quoting Stephen Covey – “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” It does not matter what has happened to you. What matters is what lies ahead of you and what that will look like is completely and entirely up to you. Do you have the faith, trust and hope to carry on?

Im not sure if I’m just boring you guys or not even getting my point across … but I’m trying! Make a difference. Just be kind to yourself and the people around you … we all are going through changes and new normals. When we do, little by little, you will find yourself having adjusted to the new normal because it’s just what we humans do. We can be happy and have a full life with new normals. I sure have been blessed to be able to cope with change. Yep … Heavenly Father loves me! He loves you too … but I think I’m His favorite.

Just saying …

Live Boldly and Face Fears

On March 9, 2021March 9, 2021 By phyllistalbotIn Be Happy, Believe, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, UncategorizedLeave a comment

‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee…. ‘ Isaiah 41:10

I have a fear of heights and bridges. I can remember many years ago on my honeymoon getting upset at Ken for not listening to me as he parked in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge to take photos. H took a very cute photo of me sitting in the car while he stood bravely on the edge. I was so young and stupid back then. Now I think nothing of driving across that new tall bridge to go onto Topsail Island! You just have to face fears. Several years ago I traveled to the J. W. Marriott Resort and Spa in Phoenix Arizona for a Pilot International Convention. One evening at dinner a group of us were approached to go on a sunrise breakfast hot air balloon ride the next morning. After much prodding, I said Ok … I would risk my life to have some fun with my friends. They picked us up very early the next morning to take us to the lift-off site. I was terrified … scared to death! But I hung onto my friend and crawled into that little basket. I must say the ride was fantastic … I will remember it as one of my favorite adventures. However, when we landed, I could hardly climb out of the basket. The thought that I had just hung out of a little basket, a mile high, taking photos hit me like a ton of bricks … almost to the point of hyperventilating. I could not believe I just did it … I faced my fears and it was amazing!

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

I don’t know about you, but too often I allow fear, worry, and doubt to dominate my actions or reactions. It is easy to allow them to steal our joy, sleep, and even our dreams. It would have been so easy to have declined that Arizona adventure … and then missed that amazing experience.

As a young woman I actually made up my mind that I would always try to face my fears no matter what. I can definitely say that in doing so it has blessed my life in so many ways. Scary decisions are really hard to make … but usually those scary decisions are the right decision. One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make was when I was only eighteen years of age … thankfully I made that decision … the right decision … and I have been blessed for doing it! It was my first really big leap of faith!

My life has been filled with adventures … only because I decided to always let my motto be “Faith over Fear.” I have several tee-shirts with that written across the front. Last summer while visiting a friend and his family, I actually fought back the fear of water, and let him take me on a ride on his jet ski … it was so much fun … but I was terrified. I might even try that adventure again.

Lesson learned: If you want to know happiness and realize your dreams, you have to be willing to take a leap of faith despite being afraid. Too many times we hold back and play it safe in order to avoid feeling embarrassed, looking silly, being hurt, and facing rejection or possible failure … all of which never would have happen. We tend to hang onto those fears we grew up with from our younger years. We cling to the fears from our childhood, traumatic experiences, and the negative actions. Like how Linus clings to his security blanket in the cartoon strip “Peanuts!”

So what’s the answer … maybe that it’s my responsibility to admit, face, and get rid of my fears? Now here’s the big question: Am I willing to begin now … to find the courage to do all the things I was meant to do during my lifetime, but have not begun? Are you ready to begin now too? OK … then let’s figure this out!

So here goes … my thoughts on living boldly, facing fear and taking that leap of faith!

Did you know that fearful thoughts only bring on more fearful thoughts … it’s a merry-go-round! Instead of expecting the worst, I’ve trained my mind to always expect the best. Be positive … about everything! I can tell you truthfully that being as positive as possible during my cancer diagnosis had a huge impact on my health today. I’m almost a nine-year survivor of the most aggressive breast cancer and came through surgery, chemo and radiation with laughter and tears … by being positive! It also helps to have positive reminders around. I love wearing this bracelet that my grand-kids gave me during cancer treatment. It’s words “Let your faith be bigger than your fear” is a great reminder. Doesn’t it look really great on my old wrinkly arm?

Don’t give up any of your energy to fear! I find that when I fear something … I move toward it. Sometimes just the action will give you the courage to face it. If you don’t take action in overcoming your fear then many opportunities will just pass you right by … which doesn’t feel so good. Remember how a hitch-hiker looks when you zoom right past him … well that will be your look if you miss out on something great because you feared stepping out of your comfort zone! Just think: “This fear will pass!” Every time I overcome a fear my world expands. OK here’s a silly example. All of my life I have had a fear of someone touching my nose … really silly … right? My kids love to see me panic when they try to grab my nose … and don’t you get any ideas when you see me next! Before COVID lockdowns, Edgecombe Community College offered Esthetics/Cosmetology services at a discounted price. I love any type of massage so I knew that I would love a facial if I could get over the fear of someone touching my nose! I am very happy to report that before COVID, I had a facial every week for the last ten years … and my nose hasn’t fallen off and I can still breathe! Have the courage to face your fears. Because of facing that fear, I have found I can breathe with other treatments. This was last Wednesday, during a test at UNC Medical Center. I passed and didn’t pass out with that weird thingy on my nose. I did look a bit silly. Yes … face your fears!

Reflect on your life and every single success that you have experienced. Reflect on all those fears that you have come face-to-face with and overcome. Allow these successes to inspire and motivate you to develop the courage you need to face anything! Just thinking back … after Ken passed away I learned how to change toilet seats and start a lawn mower. These activities were huge successes. Believe me when I say there were definite fears that I would never survive without him … but I’m here and thriving!

Many of my fears came with the death of my husband and then being diagnosed with cancer. If it were not for my family and friends, my amazing support group, that provided inspiration, praise and encouragement every step of the way, I might not have come through it. They continually reminded me of all the trials and triumphs that I had come through. To help you … ask your loved ones to do the same for you! Quoting Robert Fulghum: “When you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.” Sticking together makes tough times easier and easier times more fun!

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Her husband, President Franklin Roosevelt also made a great statement about fear: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” If there is one thing that I have learned during the past few years is that life is way too short to let fear keep you from doing something you want to do ….. even if you know that it will take you way out of your comfort zone and perhaps make you look like a fool!

I can live fearless and boldly … I really can! While I was going through cancer treatment I was able to travel to Wilmington to attend the play “Annie” that my granddaughter Abby had a role in …. she was Mollie! Before the play started the director came out on the stage to welcome the crowd. Then she stated that she had a gift card to “Learning Express” to anyone who would be willing to come up here and sing a few lines of the song “Tomorrow.” Everyone in the audience just sat there. Like a fool I raised my hand and of course was chosen. So bald head, pale and all … I marched down the aisles to the stage and tried to sing “Tomorrow” … with the help of the director on a few lines …. Remember I do have chemo brain. Not only did I forget a few lines …. But I forgot that I didn’t know how to sing either!!! But the audience was really nice and clapped anyway …. Probably to get me off stage! Yep …. I had completely lost my mind …. But I sure had fun doing it …. And I received a gift card for Abby to boot! Too bad no one wanted an encore …. I was getting ready to belt out a few bars of “It’s a Hard Knock Life” ….. I know that song word for word after my life’s roller coast ride! OK … my life has really been pretty darn good and blessed with all of its ups and downs!

So in the words of singer Taylor Swift … “Live Fearless …. Live in spite of those things that scare you to death.” So during that play opening I lived fearless … and I remember that it really felt good … and it really made me laugh … which felt even better! Life is so beautiful when you step out of your comfort zone, face fear, and really have fun!

Well those are my thoughts on living boldly and facing fears. We have the power to do what it takes to break through any fear or obstacles that stand in the way of our goals, our dreams, and our happiness. All we need to do is step out of that fear and dream really big!

Just saying …

Kindness is Free

On August 20, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Be Happy, Hope, Kindness, Serve Others, Uncategorized1 Comment

Have you ever heard the phrase “kindness is free?” I actually have 2 tee-shirts, one short sleeve and one long sleeve, which have the phrase written across the front. They are my favorite tee-shirts, that’s why I have two of them … so I can wear the phrase year-round. However, my son Paul disagrees with this phrase. I love to wear it when I know he’s going to be around … just to share words of disagreement … I didn’t want to say argue.

Let me go back several months. Back before Convid-19, Paul asked if I would be available to house sit for the family while they went on vacation to Cedar Point, Ohio. The trip was to celebrate my granddaughter Abby’s 16^th birthday. Of course I said yes! I love being kind and helping others … especially my family. Now fast forward to August 3^rd when I traveled to Wilmington to house sit. This was not your normal house sitting. It involved not only the home, but a dog named Millie, a cat named Peaches, a dragon lizard named Elliot, a gecko named Leo and seven unnamed chickens.

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The dog and cat were easy to care for. The lizard and gecko were different. I hate worms … and I had to gather worms from a large box and feed them both daily. Yuck … I absolutely hated this part of the job. Each day I also had to go into the pen to feed the chickens and then collect the eggs. Not too bad of a job, right? Well, the night that they left for Ohio happened to be the night that Hurricane Isaias decided to visit Wilmington. Sitting alone in a dark hallway, with no electricity, was quite scary. Listening to tree limbs hit the house was very unnerving. I survived the night only to endure the next two days without power. No electricity at Paul’s also means no water … which means no toilets. Sure brought back memories of Hurricane Floyd. The morning after the storm I also found a dead chicken in the pen. Thank goodness for Morgan’s hubby coming to my rescue and bagging it up and disposing of it.

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So, what did I learn from this? Kindness might be free of money but definitely not free of time, patience, and inconvenience. Maybe Paul could be a bit right in his argument. However, I still believe that kindness can be given freely. Maybe that’s the idea behind the phrase.

I have been thinking about my life and how many blessings I have enjoyed and all the kindness from others that has enriched my life! Yes … there are many! Let me share a story … It’s a story about Fiorello LaGuardia who was once the mayor of New York City during the time of the Great Depression. One winter day as he presided at police court, an officer brought in a shabbily dressed man charged with stealing a loaf of bread. The defendant explained that his family was starving. LaGuardia stated that his hands were tied and that he had to punish the man. He fined the man 10 dollars. The mayor then reached into his pocket, pulled out 10 dollars and paid the fine for the man. Then, looking around the courtroom, he stated that he was fining everyone in the courtroom 50 cents for living in a town where a man had to steal bread to eat. He ordered the bailiff to collect from everyone and to give the money to the defendant. The stunned man left the courtroom with $47.50. That certainly is not much by today’s standards, but the mayor was not just asking for money … he was asking for kindness, compassion and encouragement for the man and his family.

I find that acts of kindness motivate me to pay it forward as best I can, every single day! We ALL can give compassion, encouragement and hope. We can lift and bless others with our smiles, our hugs, compliments, and kindness. We can be generous with our time, treat others like they really do matter, and be sensitive to their feelings and their needs. More often than not, these are things that do not cost money … they are free. Rather, they are gifts of our love, and time. Through these simple actions we can ease the difficulties of our neighbors.

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Let’s think about how kindness from others has helped us. I love using metaphors! Forrest Gump told us that “Life is like a box of chocolates!” I like to think of “Life as a Puzzle.” My life is one of those tricky 1,000 piece puzzles. When I began my puzzle I came up with a plan on how to put it together and then started on my journey. The pieces were all very small and looked somewhat alike. So at first, I found myself trying to force certain pieces into the wrong position or place. Even though they appeared as if they should fit, they just weren’t meant for that space. It would be so easy to just pick up a pair of scissors and snip – snip – snip in order to make it fit. But life doesn’t work that way.

Several times in my life when I thought things were looking great and things were fitting together beautifully …suddenly I would come to a piece of the puzzle that I didn’t like or that I didn’t want to fill in the space in which it was intended for. Pieces such as my husband’s untimely death, or my Triple Negative Breast Cancer diagnosis and treatment, and the death of my sister Cathy. That’s just three of many pieces that I was not at all fond of! For some of you it might be pieces representing poor health, loss of a friend or family member, loss of employment, or a family or economic crisis. We all have unattractive and unwanted pieces in our life’s puzzle. We may be sad, frustrated, over-whelmed, or feel as though we would rather give up. We mustn’t do that! That’s when kindness from others enters our lives. We must simply keep putting those pieces together, along with kindness from others, until we see the bigger picture appear before our eyes.

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During our annual family beach retreat to Topsail Island, we gather around the dining room table and work on a puzzle together. It’s so much fun. Family or friends passing by would jump right in to help! Together we learned a great lesson about patience and persistence and the power of teamwork. The puzzle fell into place much quicker with help from family and friends! Smiles, high-fives and jumps for joy were expressed when one of us located and solved a missing piece that was difficult to find. Someone would stop by to help, looking at the puzzle from a fresh perspective or different angle, or just offering help and encouragement. Isn’t this the way life should be? Others passing by and stopping to help or offer kindness and encouragement. Remember it goes both ways; we must offer help, kindness and encouragement for others who are solving their own puzzles!

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In my journal I have written several times about showing kindness and how important it is in creating happiness. My notes remind me of the things I should be doing each day. It’s what I will refer to as puzzle pieces that make other pieces fall into place. It’s a list of five things … Sort of like kindness goals! They are things I believe make my life happier and help others too. Here they are:

Make every hug last at least 10 seconds longer! Make them feel loved!
Give out at least 3 compliments a day! It makes you feel better and definitely makes them feel better!
Serve others daily! “In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these” …
Accept help and always remember to show your appreciation! Makes life so much easier!
Never … ever … give up! Jim Valvano was so right!

Abraham Lincoln … “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” To live life to its fullest, you must follow the Savior’s teachings … love one another, service others, and be kind!

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We are all in this together! …So let’s see what we can do! Look around you right now and find someone that needs support, encouragement, hope and above all KINDNESS. You have it within yourself to give. If you want to be happy and get your mind off your own problems, do something for someone else! Real happiness doesn’t come from being selfish, but by being selfless. Everything you do comes back around. In life, you get out what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Kindness is free … share it often!

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Remember life is a puzzle and you really do have the very last piece in your possession to bring you happiness! That piece just might be kindness! …

Just saying …

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This Too Shall Pass

On July 29, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Believe, Decisions, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, Serve Others, UncategorizedLeave a comment

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be … it’s the way it is. The way you cope is what makes the difference.” `Virginia Satir

Each morning I wake up, I have a choice to determine the direction that I want that day to take. I can go into default mode and wake up worried and fearful about the things I have no control over … or I can make the conscious decision to choose the kind of day I want to experience. Many times the events of the day happen so quickly that, we get caught up in the drama and feel that we don’t have a choice. Things just happen. Bad things do happen to good people. No one gets through this life without struggles! Everybody has battles to fight … everybody! No one’s life is perfect!

But, even in the midst of confusion … we do have a choice in how we react to our circumstances. No matter what happens, I get to choose how I react to it. I will admit that this is very difficult to do when life smacks you right in the face. But if we intentionally set the tone for our day BEFORE we jump into it … it will be a heck of a lot better. Really … that’s the truth. Personally I find that the first 15 minutes of the day are the most important for me. It’s sort of like putting the train on the right track at the beginning of the day … rather than trying to clean up a derailed train later in the day. It’s so easy to get sucked into being negative … remember that fact!

Case in point: This morning I got up, read through my emails, send out a few “how are you” and “thinking of you” emails before even getting out of bed. I love letting people know how important they are in my life. I was feeling pretty happy while getting ready for work because they were were giving me a good-bye luncheon at work today and I was also feeling grateful that tomorrow is my last day of working at Edgecombe Community College. I will miss them, but the prospects of new adventures is pretty exciting. When I got to work, I received a terrible disheartening phone call. I have been completing some major repairs to the home I own, getting it ready to sell. The repairman informed me that last night’s storm took off shingles from the end of my house and, flooded the ceilings, causing the ceilings and insulation to fall into the floor in two of the bedrooms. Sheetrock, insulation and rain water all over the two bedroom floors. I will not lie … this really knocked me for a gigantic loop. I was three weeks from having it ready to sell. I am not going to lie … I cried a few tears.

Immediately a phrase that my Ken used to quote came to my mind. “Remember Phyllis, this too shall pass. It’s not going to affect your eternal salvation.” Then I thought crossed my mind that it might, if I don’t stop swearing at this moment!

All things come and go. Actually … change is the only thing that is constant in our lives. … And I have had to deal with plenty of change! I know that what may appear to be a mountain in front of me, will soon be a molehill behind me. It always does. Knowing that “this too shall pass” does enable me to get through anything. This knowledge has gotten me through so many things in my life. I have been blessed.

I just have to keep the faith. When scary things happen to me, I remember the faith I have in my loving Heavenly Father and my Savior, and that everything will unfold as it should. I am a child of God. My challenge is not to deal with what may appear as a humongous problem … my challenge is to find the blessing in the situation. If you look hard enough you might just find a gift in what’s happening around you.

There are two things that I have going for me: 1) I am surrounded by people who support me. 2) and I realize that I am not alone.

Contrary to popular belief it does not work to just put on a brave face and soldier on. I speak from experience with that statement. I’m very stubborn … just ask Kimbo! Sometimes we (talking to myself) have a false idea in our heads of what it means to be strong. Accepting help and allowing our family and friends in to help is not a sign of weakness! It takes courage to let people in … it is humbling. I love the quote by Lea McEwan: “Generosity is not just a gift to be given but a gift to be received.”

This is my support group … and they are amazing. Today they hit me full force with love and support when I was having that mini pity party. They reminded me of how tough I am, what I’ve already gone through and just how blessed I am. They helped me see the beauty and possibilities of life. They will be there for me with their “you got this attitude” … pushing me to the top of this big mountain. I will not be on this climb alone. Not only do I have an awesome support group, but I have the knowledge that I have a loving Heavenly Father and

Savior walking beside me … sometimes even carrying me! I could not have functioned during so many difficult times in my life without that knowledge. I am so thankful … and I am so blessed.

My suggestion to you … those of you who are going through your own trials … is to put these ideas into action in your own life. Let me know how it works for you. You and I are walking the same path here in mortality. We are all just trying to get back home to Heavenly Father. We have to support each other. That’s definitely what it’s all about. The difficult times we go through will start to seem less significant when we compare it to everything that is going right in our lives. If you need me … just give me a call … hopefully will not be in the midst of my own personal rough day..

By now I bet that you have figured out that this blog posting is aimed straight for my heart, mind and soul … pointing my finger at myself and reminding myself that my attitude will either lift me up … or bury me in a pit of despair! I know that when I take the time to stop and count my blessings … my problems seem not as severe as I originally thought. Believe me when I say … being GRATEFUL helps tremendously. Remember that when you count your blessings a world of abundance opens up to you. Gratitude is the quickest path to happiness and peace of mind. If what you focus on grows … then please let it be gratitude.

Just focus on moving forward. Even if you are still a long way from where you want to be … you are further down the road from where you were.

Just saying …

Stand Up Scout

On April 12, 2020July 30, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Believe, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, Serve Others, UncategorizedLeave a comment

“Having influence is not about elevating self, but about lifting others!” ~Sheri Dew

In our lives, we meet new and interesting people every day … of course not lately with this “Stay at Home” order. I believe, there are certain people who make an impact on us, affecting us for the rest of our lives. Every one of you has by now encountered at least one person who has impacted your life. This would be someone who is outside of your family who made a difference. I have a specific person who made a difference in my life along time ago when I was going through a very difficult time. As a nineteen year old, a gentleman from my church, who lived about an hour away, was there for me when I had left home for a few months. Knowing that I was extremely lonely and emotionally suffering, he visited me weekly to let me know that I was a “Child of God” with so much potential. He built me up in so many ways, not because of any church assignment he had, but because he cared about people around him. He moved from North Carolina many years ago and I never got to tell him thank you … but he changed my life. I can look at my children and grandchildren and can name a coach or mentor that had a major impact on who they became. My son Paul’s swim coach, John Richards, was not only a coach but a friend and mentor. My granddaughter Katie’s soccer coach, Coach Leshaun Jenkins, was also a mentor and friend … teaching her about life off the soccer field.

Of all the characters that I’ve “met” through books and movies, one character always stands out as someone that I want to be like. That is Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird” … one of my very favorite books! He was just an ordinary man from a very small town, like mine, who had a positive effect on those around them. I cry every time I read or watch the minister in the balcony say “Stand up Scout … Mr. Finch is passing.” Everyone should want to be like Atticus! He is a symbol of what is good, honest, and wise. When the story of our town is written, wouldn’t it be great if each of us were included as someone who symbolized those things? I’m quite sure if the story included Atticus’ childhood, it would read that he probably emulated someone who had been an influence in his life. It is simply amazing how everything around us shapes and carves our character. One person can make a huge difference in your life whereas ten people altogether might never change you.

This photo is from one of the times I have tried to “be the one” … to help my community. At Thanksgiving my family and I work the first half of the day at our local Community Homeless Outreach Shelter. It is one of my most cherished times during the year … serving meals to others. I do this to not only serve, but to Honor Sister Mary Anne, an example to our community on helping others. So, what’s my point today. Nobel Peace Prize winner Albert Schweitzer once said, “Example is not the main thing in influencing others… It is the only thing.” People look at what you do, more than listen to what you say. To be a positive influence, you must live the life you’d like to see others live. Bottom line … You never know who you are influencing for good! I bet each of you are someone’s shining example and influence right now! I had a shining example to follow … my good friend Kathy Munday, who fought cancer for 13 years, after being given 6 months to live. She never gave up … and lived a full life of service while extremely ill and not feeling well. I never got to tell her that she became my shining example. She passed away several years before I was diagnosed with cancer. I followed her example and continue today. Whether we know it or not, we are all making a difference. But during this specific time in our lives right now, being ordered to shelter at home, how can we make a difference?

In his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Andrew Carnegie notes that one of the most powerful ways to influence another person is to make them feel important, and show that you care. During the last year, my church began what we call a ministering program. Each member began to do as the Savior did in ministering to all. Ministering is Christlike caring for others and helping meet their spiritual and temporal needs. We are the Savior’s other “good Samaritans” on earth. Even though we are in our own homes, we can still reach out to others and check on our friends. During the last week I have enjoyed calling friends and asking how their toilet paper supply is holding up. It’s a good way to start a conversation. A call can really cheer someone up that is at home dealing with all sorts of new problems. You don’t even have to call … send them a special message on your computer. We all need each other to get us through this horrible pandemic that is taking its toil on so many. We don’t have to be sick with the corona-virus because it is affecting all parts of our lives … work … food … protective gear … and yes, even toilet paper!

So, my challenge to you this week is: Pay attention to those around you. Deliver sincere messages of cheer to others who need encouraging words. By focusing on this, you are sure to bring out the best in those around you, including yourself! Now more than ever the world really needs caring, positive influences to make it a better place for each of us to live … to make each day brighter. This “stay at home” directive is really hard on seniors … they miss their families. It’s hard on caregivers … having to be home without help 24/7. It’s hard on parents having to occupy their children’s mind and energy all day … and provide education too. It’s hard on families having to live without steady income … stuck at home not knowing where to look for help. Be someone that makes a positive difference! Call, email, write notes … listen to their words and tones. Let’s not just settle on spreading light … let’s be the mirror that reflects it too! Be the one!

Just Saying …

Barefoot and Unprepared

On March 17, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Be prepared, Believe, Choose the right, Decisions, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, Serve Others, Uncategorized1 Comment

socks

These past few weeks has been a bit interesting … this coronavirus is scary. Everyone is asking “Are you prepared?”

To start off I’m going to tell you one of my sister Cathy’s favorite story. She was a lover of sports. She would not be happy today with all the canceled sporting events … especially the basketball tournaments. When she heard this story given by Howard W. Hunter at a conference … she fell in love with it and told it often. The story tells of a quarterback on the football team of a small, rural high school. This young man managed to make the team, but it was clear that he was not going to be all-state or all-American. In fact, he was the fourth of four quarterbacks. By the last game of the season, he had never been called into a game, and he had given up all hope of playing. During the final game of the year he decided to relax and enjoy himself, so he pulled off his shoes, wrapped himself in a blanket, and settled down on the bench to watch his buddies play.

Midway through the game he heard the coach shout his name. He was startled and wondered if he had been mistaken. Then the coach called again, “Hey, you! Get in there and move the ball!” What should he do? He wanted to say, “Wait, coach, while I put on my shoes.” But instead, he made straight for the huddle, his stocking feet conspicuous to the players, the spectators, and the coach.

Being called into the game made him very nervous and he was confused as he called his first play, and by the time he took the snap from center, he had forgotten which play he had called. While his teammates moved to the right, he went left, where he was swallowed up in the snarl of onrushing linemen. No one expected him to make a touchdown. Even running the wrong way was understandable. But there was no excuse for a quarterback without shoes. No excuse for a quarterback not ready to help his team to success!

Are you prepared? Are you prepared to help yourself? But the bigger question is: Are you prepared to help others? Are you ready to pass the ball of life and make a difference? Recently I have been thinking about my life and the things I have done, things I have not done, things I’m prepared for and the things I am not prepared for. Am I prepared? I have decided that when I finally depart from this life and I arrive at the pearly gates that I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautiful tailored clothes with my hair expertly set and with long perfectly manicured fingernails. That is definitely NOT me! I want to pedal up to the pearly gates on a beat up three-wheel old bicycle (not sure I can balance myself on two wheels anymore), with a basket of things to share with others. I want to be wearing a pair of grass stained worn-out shoes from playing with my great-grand kids on their swing set. I want there to be a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want there to be a little dirt under my fingernails from helping my family plant a garden. I want there to be children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of family and friends on my shoulders. I want my Heavenly Father to know that I was really here and that I really lived. I want to be wearing my life’s shoes! Each one of us has to realize that if we are going to really be here and make a different in this world and really live, it is absolute essential that we do not lose hope and we look to our Heavenly Father for support, guidance and love. That means … Not losing hope…. Not getting discouraged…. Not giving up! Keeping our shoes on so we are prepared! And … Serving others!

unnamed

This is one of my favorite paintings. The artist is James Christensen who titled this painting “Hold to the Rod.” The man in this painting is trying to hold onto so many worldly possessions that he cannot let go and grab hold of the rod for fear of losing something. The rod represents divine guidance. He is looking at the rod, but doesn’t have the belief and faith to let go of those material things and be guided to the more important things.

I have found that while riding on the bike that we call life, we tend to collect things that make us feel safer and better about ourselves … comfortable enough that we walk around barefooted. Even though these things are mere material possessions, they tend to give us a superficial sense of security. It is only by holding fast to our own beliefs that we can navigate our life with confidence and be prepared for whatever is placed before us.

I am reminded of a speech that I heard presented by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He began the speech recounting an experience he once had moving a grand piano from one room to another. He related how a group of men were trying to move a grand piano from a church chapel to an adjoining cultural hall for a musical event. None were professional movers and the task of getting that very heavy piano through the chapel and into the cultural hall seemed nearly impossible. Everybody knew that this task required not only physical strength but also careful coordination. Each man had his own idea of how the piano should be move, but not one could keep the piano balanced correctly. They re-positioned the men several times by strength, height, and age — but nothing worked. As they stood around the piano, uncertain of what to do next, one of the men spoke up. He said, “Stand close together and lift where you stand.” Together they lifted that piano and moved it successfully. The dictionary defines the word “lift” as “to raise to a higher position or level.”

Lifting up

At the present, we live in a world full of scary things. I’m terrified about getting this coronavirus … I am definitely a prime candidate to die from this virus. I keep asking myself if I have prepared enough. Thankfully I belong to a church that has all ways taught its members to be prepared. Yes … I have plenty of “toilet paper”, meds and food! I even have a supply of hospital masks left over from chemo. In Dexter (my Tahoe) I have my 72 hour backpack that has 50 items to help in any type of emergency. I use items from it all the time to help myself or others. Need a band-aid … I got it! Need a rope … I got it! Need a flashlight … I got it! Need a hatchet … yep … got that too! There was this Pilot Club member from the western part of the state who also had a 72 hour pack in her car. We used to sit with each other and try to out-do each other with new items. I learned a lot from her … a real survivalist.

trees

I love this photo … even very strong sturdy trees help each other! So let me ask: Are you prepared to help yourself and to help others. Can you lift yourself and then lift others. Life is what we make of it and it sure is better with “lifters” around to pitch in and help! Lifters with shoes on … ready to help our team of family and friends. I challenge you to take the “7 Minutes to Lift 7 People up This Week” challenge. You may have to let go of some of those things holding you back … but it will bless you and give you so much happiness this week. Each day this week, reach out to someone you know who needs a little lift to win this game of life … family, friends, co-workers, peers. Make the commitment with me to make a difference in someone else’s life and then watch what happens in your own life. You and whomever you reach out to will feel much better and be lifted up!

Remember “be prepared, keep those shoes on” so you will be ready to “lift where you stand!”

Just saying ….

Baloney Sandwiches Again!

On February 24, 2020February 25, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Be Happy, Believe, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, Uncategorized1 Comment

Baloney Sandwich

“You can be wise and happy …. or stupid and miserable. The choice is yours!” ~Gordon B. Hinckley

Let me start by relating a story I once heard … I do not know who wrote it or told it … but I love this story and it’s wisdom! To begin … Yes, I love fried baloney sandwiches … especially at the beach … Thinking about them brings back memories of growing up and having to take my lunch to school each day! I actually hated baloney sandwiches then.

The Story: Two construction workers were taking a lunch break and opened up their lunch boxes. One of them looked inside his box and said, “Not baloney sandwiches again! I can’t believe it. I hate baloney. This is the third time this week I’ve had a baloney sandwich. I can’t stand baloney!” The other construction worker looked at the co-worker and said, “Why don’t you just ask your wife to make you something different?” He replied, “I don’t have a wife. I made these baloney sandwiches myself.”

Why is it that the very things that we complain about the most or don’t like about our lives are the things that we put there ourselves. I know that I do. I complain about having a messy over-loaded closet … when the remedy is to organize it myself. I complain about no snacks in the house … when I am free to go to the grocery store. I complain about working every day …. oh … no … I don’t complain about that because I’m so thankful to have something that gets me up and out each day! Really I love my job. OK… back to baloney and complaining! I complain about not seeing my kids enough … when I know it’s a two way street and I can get in my car and drive to visit them. We complain about many things that we can control. This is especially true about our attitudes … something that we also have the capacity to control, but so often choose not to.

We all understand the need to be more positive and have a happier attitude … there are a gazillion books written on the subject. We even have bible scriptures that teaches and encourages us “to be made new in the attitude of your minds.” (Ephesians 4:23) So why do we so often choose to carry around the same old attitudes that have let us down over the years.

The solution really is simple … We CAN stop packing baloney sandwiches for ourselves and start the process of developing new attitudes that will assist us in our daily lives … to develop attitudes that do not hold us back. Our attitude can either be our best friends or it can be our worst enemy. I believe my attitude is the biggest determinant to my quality of life … a happy life. It’s about making the mental shift in attitude that will allow you to power through whatever life throws at you. Think about it … if you are in a bad mood and something annoying happens … it puts you in what I call the “watch out explosion coming” category. But if you try your best to be happy .. and something annoying happens … it’s much easier to deal with. Check out this cartoon … It’s so true … look for the positive … sit in the good seats.

I’m in no way trying to trivialize life’s tribulations. Let’s face it; some of us have a great deal of pain to deal with. I sure have had plenty to deal with in my short lifetime (yes I consider myself young). However, it is essential for your well-being that you understand that these circumstances, events or situations are not the final word on your quality of life … no matter how bad it appears. It’s how you respond to them and the fear and other negative emotions they produce that make the difference. And more than anything, it’s about a shift in attitude that will allow you to power through whatever life throws at you. In fact, it’s all about attitude. It’s always been about attitude. And always will be about attitude.

Henry

I love this photo of my great-grandson Henry and the difference in what attitude means. These photos were taken about a minutes apart. Some days I bet photos resembling these could be taken of me! Unlike my Henry (who really doesn’t understand life yet) … we are in control of our attitude.

You know what kind of attitude I’m talking about? The kind that no matter the severity of the situation, you not only bounce back, but you thrive with a determination and confidence that defy the odds against you.

Do you want to know how to acquire that kind of attitude? Here’s an analogy that I read from a book by Steve Rizzo using cats as a teaching point. Observe a cat, any cat. Our family has a cat … it’s actually belongs and lives with my granddaughter Maggie … but we all consider it our cat. His name is Asha. OK back to the cat story. Go ahead observe your cat. Just watch them. They strut around the house, as if they’re God’s gift to the animal kingdom. I swear, if cats could talk, we would hear, “Meow! Meow! Ba-Da-Bing! Meow!” Our Asha sleeps anywhere he wants and dares us to move him. Yep … Meow! Meow! Ba-Da-Bing! Meow! If you fold clothes on the bed and walk away for five minutes … when you go back Asha has made that nice pile of folded clothes his comfy bed. Ba-Da-Bing!

Asha

Have you ever wondered why it is said that cats have nine lives? Because they have resilience; they bounce back. Nothing seems to affect them. Once I was brushing Asha (he didn’t like it) and he actually fell off the counter trying to avoid me. He land on his feet and look at me as if to say, “What? I meant to do that!” and then walk away. “Ba-Da-Bing! Meow!” Resilience! Bounced back!

View album “Dogs”

My family are definitely dog lovers … we have about eight dogs between all family members. Of course my favorite is my dog “Captain Jack” (he will be 15 years old this year) … he definitely has my heart. Think about it … have you ever told a cat to go fetch something? It just sits there and gives you another one of those looks. “Hey, let’s get something straight. I don’t do fetch. You want something, you tell your best friend Jack (my dog) to get it. I’m busy. The bottom line is this: Cats live on their own terms. Nobody tells them what to do. They defy the odds. All of us could use that same kind of attitude! Resilience! Bouncing back!

There’s a story about two brothers who appeared on a talk show. Again I don’t know what show or when … just read it on the internet. The first brother came out and told his story. He was divorced, broke, unemployed, angry about life, unable to control his emotions and had problems with alcohol abuse. When asked why he thought he was this way he responded, “What choice do I have? My father was an abusive alcoholic and I was destined to turn out like this, it’s all his fault!”

Then the second brother came out. He was a successful businessman with a happy marriage and smiling kids. He lived in a beautiful house, was well-respected in his local church and was a fun guy to be around. When asked why he thought he was this way he responded, “What choice do I have? My father was an abusive alcoholic and I didn’t want to turn out like him, so I focused on improving myself and becoming the best person I could be.”

I grew up with a very dysfunctional family. My father committed suicide when I was 11 years old … which turned my family upside down. After that my family had so many ups and downs. Many extended family considered us not family anymore. At some point in my growing up I decided that my family would not define me, my future family, or the choices I made. I wanted better than I had. I began to understand that we were not meant to be defined by our circumstances but by our choices regarding these circumstances. No matter how hard we try, we can’t control what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude and our emotions. We’ve always have the power to choose, we just need to exercise that choice. Sometimes those choices are hard … but so worthwhile!

Life is difficult … I can’t lie about that. But if you are like me, sometimes you make it more difficult by focusing only on the burdens. But life is not all sorrow. We just need to focus on all of life’s blessings that surround us. I have found so many blessings to be thankful even in the worst parts of my life. Remember that with every burden comes the hope of happiness. If we realize that life includes the good and the bad, enjoyment and heartache, pleasure and pain, we might be less likely to feel disheartened when all is not ideal.

View album “Phyllis Talbot”

Every morning I remind myself of how blessed I am … to pull my head out of my behind and look around at the beauty that this world has to offer me. Things are never perfect. I accept that. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t find joy and appreciate what I do have. I do have plenty to be thankful for. As I struggle to carry my own burdens, I try to focus on living with hope … which is a very powerful trait. Realizing that our loving Heavenly Father will not send us more than we can handle. Life if a test! It is accepting the fact that all is not perfect but having the strength to show the world that it will not rob me of my joy or my happiness. No more baloney sandwiches for me!

Just saying …

Charlie Brown Inspired

On February 10, 2020 By phyllistalbotIn Believe, Hope, Live Life, Positivity, UncategorizedLeave a comment

“Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker!” … Charlie Brown

Several weeks ago during one of our church services, a tidbit of wisdom struck my thoughts. OK, maybe I wasn’t paying attention as I should have been. But it occurred to me that if we were to slow down our lives, we would be able see Heavenly Father’s purpose for our life more clearly. I don’t know about you, but many time I find myself speeding through life only trying to “eat, drink and be merry”! My true belief is that the purpose of my life is not just to be happy (which sometimes can in itself be hard) … life is to be useful, to be compassionate, to be honorable and to be of service to other. The scriptures tell me and my Savior instructs me to strive for a life that makes a difference in not only my life but others as well … that I lived and lived well according to his words!

CB Group

My post today comes from the daily comic strip ‘Peanuts’ … which if we pay attention to, can often teach us. Every day, the whole Charlie Brown gang provides laugh-out-loud moments while at the same time offering daily inspiration and lessons on life. Let me share today with you two of the leadership lessons I have found from Good Ole Charlie.

Persistence wins out. Charlie Brown often loses … he fails at much, but he never gives up. For instances, even though he knew Lucy was going to pull the football away before he could kick it…. Even though he knew the tree was going to eat his kite… Even though he knew his team would lose the ball game … he always kept on trying. I know it’s hard to be rejected … it’s hard to feel you don’t matter. We MUST keep knocking on doors of opportunity no matter how many are slammed shut.

Fallen tree

I love this photo. Even though the tree had fallen … it persisted and continued to thrive! We too can do this!

I know that I have mentioned this several times over the years, but Jeffrey R. Holland’s short video gives me more hope on NOT giving up. Here’s part of his words. “Don’t give up … Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” When I feeling a bit down or out of sorts, I always go to this video … it gives me hope and peace. In case you want to watch it, you can find it at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I It’s worth the 4 plus minutes of your time.

Jim V

I can’t leave my persistence part without mentioning past N.C. State Coach Jim Valvano! That’s me standing by his statue on NC State’s Campus. I will never forget the speech he gave at the ESPY awards ceremony when he was honored by being awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage Award on March 4, 1993. Quoting Coach Valvano: “There are 86,400 seconds in a day. It’s up to you to decide what to do with them. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding.”

If you give up on your hopes and dreams, you will not live the unique life you were meant to live … a life that Heavenly Father created you for. If you believe that you can succeed, and do not listen to those who says otherwise, with persistence, discipline and faith in yourself you will reach and travel far in this life. Quoting Dr. Seuss: “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” Let try to be more like Charlie Brown!

It’s what you think of yourself that matters most. You know that Linus has carried a security blanket for years and his friends laugh at him. They also laugh at him because he believed in the ‘Great Pumpkin.’ Pigpen was a walking cloud of dust and dirt and was often regarded as unkindly. Both characters, however, were always proud of themselves and believed they were as good as anybody else — and they were right.

Lucille Ball said it best: “Love yourself and everything falls in line.” So how do we accomplish this? The first thing we need to do is let go of what we can’t control. That’s a mouthful and is really hard to do. Everyone wants everyone to like us. Too many times we fall into the trap of believing that if I could just do and say all the right things, then people would like me. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves? The thing is, we can’t control what others think of us or how they experience life. We … I repeat … we are responsible for our own actions and intentions. I myself am trying really hard to focus more of my time and energy on living in a way that reflects my own personal values instead of trying to control what other people think of me. The only person we really should be trying to impress is our Heavenly Father and he has given us plenty of instructions on how to live!

Heart

Quoting Diane Von Furstenberg: “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” Loving our self and taking care of our self, can bring miracles into our lives! Let’s learn to love our self. Let’s think of our self enough to take the actions required for our happiness. Who in the world needs our drama-filled past? Let’s love our self enough to move on, remember that we too matter, and be happy. Have an unshakable faith in yourself to become everything you want to be.” In other words: Stand tall, walk tall … you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father! You are meant to be right where you are at this moment in time!

I follow the blog of Greg Trimble, from California … he is one of my favorite bloggers. In his latest blog posting he said: “The only thing we can do is try to be our best selves and let others think what they may. But… when we’re being our best self, we need to be our best self for ourselves and not because we want others to be impressed by our best self.” Very profound statement!

I have a wonderful idea … Let’s be more like Charlie Brown …being persistent and loving our self!

Just saying ….

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