Life Without Weeds

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Ken and I used to have a big garden behind my mother’s home.  We raised plenty of vegetables for our little family to either eat immediately or to can for later enjoyment.  The part about gardening I disliked the most was definitely weeding.  Weeds grow pretty fast in our North Carolina climate.  Weeding always made me feel a little discouraged as we had invested our time and attention into something that was easily overgrown if full attention was given … I also felt a little frustrated.

I can hear Ken’s words telling me to be sure and dig down to the root otherwise the weeds would just come back and he would have to pull it again later. One of my mother’s favorite sayings when I was growing up was “a job worth doing is worth doing right the first time.”  I guess these wise words are for weeding too.  I sure didn’t want Ken to catch me hastily pulling what was visible so that I could give him the appearance of a job well-done … hurrying so I could go do things that I thought was more important.

I could also sense a little bit of pride and hope as I did pull those large weeds free from the soil. I knew our little garden would be so much better off without these large weed stealing valuable nutrients and water from the veggies we were trying to grow … veggies we had watered and weeded continually.

I still remember a couple of things about gardening with Ken. First, weeds always start out small, but if ignored they grow into something huge and hard to uproot.  Take Kudzu for an example.  Like most invasive species, the Kudzu has no natural enemies, which allows it to grow relatively unhindered. This is particularly bad because the Kudzu vine is one of the fastest growing plants in the world, sometimes averaging feet a day. In fact, the Kudzu has devoured so many forests in the southern United States that it’s been given the nickname “The Vine That Ate the South”. Ken hated Kudzu … it hindered plenty of his surveying work.  He always said it was one gigantic super-weed.  But it does start out small like all weeds if left unattended.  Secondly, and importantly, weeds will always grow back.

Jimmie has been getting his and Kimbo’s garden ready.  This has brought back these memories of my gardening days.  I immediately remembered how I hated pulling out weeds. There is this thing that Kimbo and I always try to do … look for a spiritual analogy by searching for positive thoughts and any learning principles I could gather.  I began to think of spiritual analogies of pulling weeds and weeding my life.

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This led to my asking myself:  How many weeds have taken root in my life? How many things have I let slide or not given my time and attention into that are choking out the Spiritual plants I am trying to grow? How can I tell the difference between a weed and plant when it is so easy to mistake one for the other? Am I watering weeds as I water my plants?

We can choose what seeds we plant in our garden.  We can plant seeds of being positive, of love and abundance.  We also can plant seeds of negativity, fear and lack.  Some of us will even spend time trying to take care of everyone else’s garden.  We need to let our work be on making ours garden beautiful and attract other beautiful people.

I love the words from President Gordon B. Hinckley:  “Without hard work .. nothing grows but weeds!”

If what we are investing our time and energy into isn’t growing crops of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, then we definitely need to look closely to be sure it isn’t a bunch of overgrown weeds we have grown. If it is a weed, we have to be willing to reach down into the dirt and pull it out before it grows and starts choking out the important things we are working so hard to grow.

Just like the weeds that I ended up watering along with my plants, the weeds we let grow will begin to choke out the crops in our garden that we want to grow in our lives. I have let some weeds grow in my garden and in my life that need to be effectively dealt with … immediately.

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Spiritual weeds don’t start out looking like weeds! When they begin stealing the time and attention away from the Plan of Happiness that our Heavenly Father has for our lives, it becomes easier to see them for the weeds that they are. Sadly, it doesn’t take much for Satan to plant his weeds in our minds. He knows our weaknesses and sends out small thoughts or attitudes for us to deal with.  I think we all could benefit from being a little more aware of what we are watering and tending in our lives.

In Matthew 13 Jesus tells his disciples the Parable of the Sower, and uses the image of weeds to explain how daily life can interrupt our faith.

“The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” – Matthew 13:22

If we let daily weed problems overwhelm us, our faith will wither and die, or if we allow ourselves to get too comfortable in our faith, we’ll end up stunting our growth.

So this week I challenge you to do two things: First take an inventory of the weeds in your lives. Secondly, you must perform a “weedectomy” on them. No two of us have exactly the same weeds. For some people, things are weeds that barely bother others. However, we all have weeds in the garden of our heart that can and will crush out faith and spiritual welfare if we let them grow. If we want to be the disciples Heavenly Father calls us to be, one of the first things we must do is cut the weeds out of our lives or burn them to the ground so that they no longer choke our faith.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have some weeding and watering that I need to do in my own garden. I waste my time on too many unimportant things and have many different kind and size weeds.  I want a good harvest.  Would you like to join me?

 

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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Six years ago on June 19, 2012, my life was forever changed! That was the day when it went from “you have cancer” to “your surgery was a success.”  Six years as a survivor … so far so good!

Unless you have experienced cancer, or another horrible disease, you cannot begin to grasp the reality of the disease. Some days I am amazed that I am still functioning after those very harsh treatments for Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I have had chemotherapy and radiation, felt like death, fought the best way I know how, never gave up, prayed always, worshiped every Sunday, laughed a lot, cried just as much, worried, not worried, mourned new losses, enjoyed life, lived each day to its fullest, and gave the best of me. I have come to love me! I am a new me with a new normal … remember my Plan “D” …or is it “E?”

I have found strength that I once thought was beyond my reach! I have accepted that I am different from many others! I have made priorities and dismissed as much negativity from my life as possible. I have fallen deeper in love with my Heavenly Father and His Son, my husband who is always in my thoughts, my children and grandchildren who keep me going, my family and friends who give me hope, and most of all … life! I have met other survivors who motivate and inspire me! Yes, my life was and has forever been changed since six years ago when I heard those words “you have cancer.”

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October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and so I have been thinking about my life since that day and how many blessings I have enjoyed!  Yes … there are many … and from many areas!  Let me share one of my biggest blessings other than my family.

How a community treats each other says much about who we really are. Respect, compassion, service, kindness and integrity hold our society together. I am so blessed to belong to many communities (my little town, church and family communities) that really care about each other.  Just check out Facebook any day and you will find prayers offered up, good deeds being done, or money being raised for someone in our community.

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I am thankful to belong to such a community … They have been and are a daily blessing!  When I needed lifted there were so many people with acts of kindness for me that touched me in such a way that motivate me to pay it forward as best I can, every single day!

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Here’s the moral of my blog today … we ALL can give compassion, encouragement and hope. So to really spread and honor BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH, let’s all make an extra special effort to lift and bless others with our smiles, our hugs, compliments, and kindness. We can be generous with our time, treat others like they really do matter, and be sensitive to their feelings and their needs.   More often than not, these are things that do not cost money.  Rather, they are gifts of our love, and of our self. Through these simple actions we can ease the difficulties of those we love.  We are all in this together! …So let’s see what we can do! Look around yourself right now and find someone that needs support, encouragement and hope. You have it within yourself to give.   If you want to be happy and to get your mind off your own problems … do something for someone else!   Real happiness doesn’t come from selfishness, but by being selflessness.  Everything you do comes back around.  In life you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.

ALSO … Let’s not forget to thanks those that help us through our difficult times … They deserve to know how wonderful they are too!  Be the reason someone smiles today … then two people feel better!

Just saying! …

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Lessons from Life

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In a couple of days I will be 72 years old … WOW, I am old!  At this age, I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over my life just a bit earlier.

One of my all-time favorite books is “Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out into the Real World” by Maria Shriver.  When I purchased the book my immediate thoughts were … come on Maria, the real world … what would you know about the real world?  Maria grew up a Kennedy and married one of the biggest movie stars of all time! That aside, it got me thinking: What are some things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here are three of mine:Phyllis 1

  • Life isn’t fair. My mom’s favorite come-back line.  What did she know?  I remember thinking that I would grow up and show her that those who work hard and do what is right are the real winners.  Well I guess she showed me!  Life isn’t fair!  Too many times the bad guy wins.  People play favorites.  Good people die young.  Good people get really sick.  Good people get dumped on every day. Even President John F. Kennedy realized this fact of life when he said: “Life isn’t fair.  It never was and never will be!”  It’s hard to accept but we should still strive to do our best, work hard, dream big, and above all … do what is right!  Life is hard! And do it definitely isn’t fair.  That fact really hurts like hell sometimes.  But if you focus on what is within your power to change for the better, you can be happy even if it isn’t fair!.

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  • Pleasing others gets you nothing. Most of the time, people liking or disliking you has nothing to do whatsoever with sensible thought. Some people will dislike you, no matter how well you have done, and others will love you unconditionally no matter what you have done. We tip toe around life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. We go through days thinking about how other people might be judging us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my friends think if I spoke out? Are those people talking about me behind my back? Just remember that it’s better to be loved by a few people you care about than to be liked by everyone.  Forget about worrying about what other people might be thinking about you.  They aren’t concerned about you.  They are way too busy worrying about what you and other folks think of them.

Mistakes & Failures

  • Mistakes and failures are actually good. Failure is not the end of the world.  People seldom care that you fail … they have their own challenges and lives to worry about. Success in life comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even better than a success because it teaches you something totally new, something that success could never teach you. Whenever you have a negative experience ask yourself: where is the opportunity or blessing in this? One negative experience can – with time – help you create many very positive experiences. Remember that first time you tried to ride your bike … you fell off, bruised your knee and cried a bit. But you got up, brushed yourself off and got on that bike again and eventually you learned how to ride it. If you just use that same perseverance instead of giving up after you fail, you will learn and experience more success. Remember that mistakes are proof that you are at least trying!  Folks are always telling me that we learn from our mistakes.  Well if that is true … I decided that I should soon be a genius with all the mistakes I have made in life!  Mistakes are your greatest teachers!

My three lessons aren’t the positive things anyone would like to focus on, but they are true. These were lessons that I learned after getting into the real world. We need to be aware of the bad things in life and choose to stay positive through tough times.  It’s sometimes hard to do, but you be a whole bunch better with positive thoughts. That’s why I say that life is worth living no matter how expensive or painful the lessons I’ve had to learn. Life is good and I know that I can still make it better! I’m so glad that I learned these life lessons. I hope you can live and learn too!

Just saying …